Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
