My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
