I think my vagina is haunted
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
