i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
