and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
