Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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