Buhtt sex?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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