How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize