i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
