Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
