matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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