just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Randomize
