pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
