Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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