i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
