i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
