I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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