I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
