Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize