You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
