My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
