You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you inspire me to be a worse person
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I'm really busy with my period
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