I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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