i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
