he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
