Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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