i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
