Your mouth is God's brothel.
4 words: hood of his car
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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