I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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