remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
