So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
only if we run a train.
done.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
