Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
