I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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