Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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