physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
