in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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