I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
