Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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