I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
