Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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