It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
