Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
