It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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