If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
