I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize