whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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