bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
