Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize