You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
