Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
