his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
