ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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