You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize