I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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