I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize