Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize