Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
