Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
