The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
