he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This is my gift to your gina
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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