We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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