I just made out with a guy for $7.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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