omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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