While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
