All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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