Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
