I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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