Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize