I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
