Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
