I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
