New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
