I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
